A Halloween Gift
by lalunaticscribe
Summary: October the Thirty-first. Byakuya, tired of Renji's pleading for less work, gives him a gift from WIFE....Trick or treat? Ink or extra work? His choice. Not yaoi.


_**Another weird fanfic featuring an ideal sort of Youkai: A pen that requires no hand to hold, yet writes.**_

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Due to the stress placed by his political, social and working obligations, Byakuya could recently be caught face down in his futon, enjoying a back rub.

It wasn't that he was a sucker for this; it was freely given, and it did help with some stress. By foisting it off to the masseuse.

Not that he was aware; every single time, Byakuya was mumbling in his sleep about one thing; his Lieutenant's incessant pleadings for less paperwork.

"It's as if Renji just threw away all his pride in a quest for less to write." Byakuya had mumbled in sleep. "He may not realise it, but I have better things to do than listen to his ranting…"

So, somewhere in the devious brain of his wife, the seed of a Halloween gift began to sprout….

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"What's this?" Byakuya asked the next day, October the thirty-first, looking at the plain cardboard box Chiyuki placed in front of him.

"Give this to Renji; it'll shut him up about the paperwork, so you'll stop complaining, meaning better sleep, meaning I don't have to rub your back every night." Chiyuki told him.

"It's a brush, how can a brush do what a sword could not?" Byakuya was genuinely confused, especially since some part of him had already accepted it.

"The pen is mightier than the sword. You'll see." She said, smiling. It was very eerie, befitting of a creature of the night, Byakuya decided.

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Nevertheless, he did as asked, and Renji was rather shocked.

"Perhaps now your hand won't cramp up, Renji." Byakuya had replied.

Seriously, Renji considered for one moment that the Lady Kuchiki might be interested in him that way…..then dismissed it at once from common sense. Nevertheless, he was rather pleased.

So, being the happy monkey he was, he took the one ordinary bamboo brush out of the box and dipped it in the inkwell, then set about to work.

Thirty seconds later, he was ready to give up. No, it was not the brush's fault in any way, just Renji's. So, he let go of the brush, supposing to allow it to clatter onto his desk.

Much to Renji's shock, it stood perfectly upright on the paper, its tip just touching the surface, as if held by an invisible hand.

Then, the brush began to write, words appearing on the smooth white surface of the paper.

**Happy Halloween. Choose Trick or Treat.**

Open-mouthed, Renji stared at the seemingly innocent brush. 'Oi, Taichou…" Byakuya had gone out of the office.

Wisely, he decided to ask first. "What happens if I choose treat?"

**You get the treat of ink on your face.**

"Oo-kay. What about trick?"

**You get the trick of me writing on the last ten piles of paperwork, so you'll have to redo them all over.**

"That's not very fair. What about option three?"

**I paint you black, then proceed with anything paper that passes your hand for the next twelve months. Are you ambidextrous, by the way? If not, learn, because you'll still need to do the paperwork.**

"Oi, Taichou!!" Renji called again. No answer.

Just then, he remembered a piece of paper tucked into the box. With shaking hands, he unfolded it and read:

_Abarai San:_

_I do hope you enjoy your Halloween present. Should there be another complaint; the brush will be on you. Persist and prepare for some…..displeasure. Mention anything about this AT ALL and I will personally see to it that you never see the light of day and scream in terror at the hands of some sick torturer who we will not name. Be warned; I have ears and eyes everywhere. Drunkenness is not an excuse and will result in an untimely disappearance, namely yours._

_Sincerely,_

_Kazumi Chiyuki._

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When Byakuya came back, Renji was hard at work at his desk, slaving away like his life depended on it, to the Captain's surprise. Maybe there was some merit to the phrase.

Renji's hard work attracted the notice of several Captains over the rest of the year; Hitsugaya had requested an exchange twenty times already.


End file.
